The Science of Happiness: Mantra to a Wholesome Life
Isn't it the ultimate purpose of your actions and decisions to ensure happiness? To secure a bright, happy future, life? But the concept of happiness is quite complicated if you break it down. It is the purpose of human beings. Our consciousness recognises that purpose is above survival. We have ambition. Ambitions that we ultimately link to our ‘happiness’. So, we pursue happiness. But paradoxically, the more you chase happiness, the more unhappy and unsatisfied you become.
All our lives, we keep trying to define happiness for ourselves—earning money, having the dream job, having the dream marriage, and whatnot—which is associated with ‘our way to become happy’. So we chase it, and it often evades us. We keep asking, ‘Why me?’, ‘why did this have to happen?’, ‘what did I ever do?’
In reality, we often fail to realise that happiness does not mean laughing, smiling, and being elated all the time—happiness will lose its essence if it is what you experience all the time. We have been promised eternal happiness time and again. Sometimes by religion, at times by family and educational institutions, and most of the time by the commercials that come and go on the screen. Do these actually make you happy? But they make you chase happiness, and you will keep chasing it unless you understand the science of happiness.
Let's have a look at a few practices which can help us in achieving happiness in our lives:
1) Practising Detachment
‘Stoicism’ is the closest Western concept to the Eastern concept of ‘detachment’. The goal, however, remains the same. Happiness. But the definition of happiness these philosophies present is very different from the ones that have been fed to us since childhood.
The concept of detachment is often misinterpreted as ‘I own nothing’. On a deeper level, that is true as well. But what detachment tries to teach you is how to acknowledge and understand that ‘nothing owns you’. If you let anything consume you or associate something with your happiness, you will never be able to achieve true happiness.
The concept of detachment lies in realising that your happiness and sense of fulfillment are within you—- it is your responsibility, not another object, position, or person’s purpose. Not being attached to anything does not mean that you must deprive yourself of the pleasures life offers; it simply means that nothing or nobody has an actual hold over you— the ‘hold’, the ‘attachment’ is an illusion. Your happiness will not depend on anything or anybody.
On the other hand, stoicism urges you to remain constant at all times and not fret over aspects beyond your control. Both concepts emphasise freeing your mind. Once you truly begin to find within yourself and stop chasing ‘happiness’, you will find real happiness that lies in the peace of mind.
2) Appreciating Little Things
When was the last time you paid attention to sunlight falling over lush green trees or dancing on a waterbed? Or when was the last time you relished your favourite food without just rushing?
The real question is, do you find happiness in little things? Like getting your favourite food, enjoying morning tea, appreciating the rising sun—all the little things that fascinate children. Now you know why children are happier. You may have a goal, and you may have big plans, but happiness lies in the journey, not in the destiny. You can be happy even when you are working on something.
3) Acknowledge the Reality of Life
Life is not fair, and it is never going to be fair. Not to you, not to anybody. Life is not fair to the fawn, who is only a few days old and becomes the meal of a tigress. Life is not fair to the tigress, who has to feed her cubs and go hungry for days while protecting her territory and her offspring.
Here, life and nature become synonymous—both are unfair, yet both have equipped all beings with their own strengths that ensure their survival.
Tragedies will strike, and challenges will come. You will have to take some blows from life. Expecting a fairytale will leave you disappointed. Nobody has a fairytale life. Social media is a platform for lies, and ultimately, you walk alone in life.
Realising this and working to accept it makes us appreciate the little respite life provides. Your journey to achieve true happiness begins here.
4) Gratitude is the Key
Practising gratitude is the key to achieving happiness. You do not have to chase happiness; you should not wallow in self-pity. Rather, look at life and try to understand how, despite all its trials and tribulations, it has struck somewhat of a balance. You are still here, standing despite the challenges and tragedies you faced. Things could have always gone worse.
Being grateful for what you have, for what you have achieved, and for what you have preserved is the ultimate key to happiness. The grass can actually be greener on the other side. But if you neglect your lawn, sighing will eventually only leave you resentful.
If happiness is what you want, stop chasing it, and break it down into simpler, smaller things than all the grand visions and aspirations that you might have in your mind. Try growing spiritually, be curious like a child, be as carefree as you can, and cultivate meaningful relationships and friendships.
Do you want to be truly happy?
Try understanding the fact that life is meant to be experienced. Happiness is simply a by-product. When you realise that, you grow detached from it and as the law of the universe goes, detachment attracts. Let happiness find you, you chase it, it will evade you.